Maverick?

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone --"Boulevard Of Broken Dreams-Green Day"


How true.... sometimes I feel so lonely that I feel like I'm the only one in this world. Where is everybody else? Why does everyone see true me? Am I invisible? Don't I have emotions? Why did I every help you? For you to hurt me later? Why do you ignore me? Why don't you try to understand me? You didn't mean what you said? Then why say it? You think I'm cold and heartless? Violent? Did I kill someone, murder? I don't deserve to be where I am? So you think I was just lucky eh? I'm stiff? You could have done it better? They why didn't you do it? I don't care? I can't be trusted? I don't deserve your respect? Do you think I give a damn about your respect? Can I be more sensitive? I am stuck up? I don't know how to cry? I don't give a shit about people? I don't keep my promises? I don't value friends? Do you know how much pain I'm in? My loved ones in hospital? Do you know how much I'm tearing inside? Clinging on to every last piece togther? Holding on to whatever that's left of me? Do you know I'll give my life for you even if your're my worst nightmare? Have said no to you when you wanted, no needed help? Didn't I cover your back? Did you think I was a rock, not a human?

Confessions of a Broken Heart...in need of emotional and spiritual enlightenment....God where are you? I need you at this very right moment. I can't take it anymore. This loneliness is killing me. I'm disappearing into the background. I'm no one. But I want to be someone. I've no drive to go on. But I need to. I've made given up so much...I can't give up now. I need to move on forward. I am standing on a precipice. I feel the ground beneath me melting away. I have no one to talk to but You. Where are the people that I so much trusted? I can't hold back my tears.

...Without Wax...
Maverick
.....forever...........

A happy sad person?

Today I learnt the most important lesson in my life...patient history. A patient's history can tell alot...if you ask the right questions that is. The funny thing is that when you ask a patient to tell it all, you're actually invading his/ her private space. So you've got to tread carefully. Ask politely, listen intently coz' it will give us vital clues as to what symptoms are present and would lead to a very good prognosis.

The funny thing is the patient my group so today was a terminally ill patient..who looked nothing like what a terminally ill patient should look like. So perceptions change. She was a 55 year old lady who came in with a fractured femur, ie the long bon in the thigh, after a dizzy spell, slip and fall (or before the slip and fall). She also fractured here wrist as well. So after one of my groupmates wrote down the history, our group had a discussion with our tutor. And what we realised was that she developed a tumor in her right lung that metastasized to her brain and hip. The tumor caused hairline cracks in her femur and it broke up. So though her life could be prolonged by chemo and radio theraphy, there is only so much that medicine can do.. The sad thing is that she has a sec2 and a sec 3 kid. Imagine what they will have to go through...... I really feel for them.....

Without Wax
Maverick

Screwed UP

I guess
That this is where we've come to
If you don't want to
You don't have to
Believe mè

I screwed the msn spaces (or it screwed me up vis-a-vis) so came back here haha.. anyway i took a damn long time to come up with the background so might as well keep this.

Okay working hard is in..slacking out..but I guess a few minutes of slackness constitutes for nothing much. I finally went to gave blood after a long break....haha and guess what..kenna rejected for reasons that I should have known. Went to donate blood coz blood bank running out of blood and so was to enthusiastic to give blood. But because of dear mister dengue and the plasma transfusion I had not longer that 2 months ago, I was rejected..but still got the complimentary milo and biscuits.

Finished renal physiology...boy is that a the mother of all chapters..haha. So many things to comprehend...in the words of Prof Kaur.."many many"... haha no pun intended. But not really that bad i guess... really something interesting. How your body responds to you destroying to self-destruct and all. Next week I'm am going to watch a surgery realtime and that too during Chinese New Year...haha..what am I implying. Doctors work 24/7 7 days a week. Holidays for us doesn't mean diseases have holidays.

Talking about diseases, yesterday, watched a video about the ebola virus. It's a type of death that is painful to the very end....trust me. Firstly, the virus attacks all your blood immune cells. then it attacks the mast cells and macrophages in the connective tissue of organs. Then as those cells die, like dying heros, they release histamine and cytokines. This makes your capillary walls very permeable even to red blood cells. Blood leakes out everywhere. Mass internal haemorrhage. Blood leaks out from every orifice in your body, ear, eyes, mouth, nose..everywhere. The liver shuts down due to necrosis followed the kidneys, heart and lungs. Blood leaks into your stomach, intestines and you vomit blood.

Finally Death......
Fatal 100%..i.e. you get it..you die.
And we thought Bird flu was bad!

Microkillers..assasins of the future?

Without Wax
Maverick.